The Song and the Flame

In the “Apollonian Epiphanies” portion of his book on Apollo, Kerenyi says that Callimachus in his capacity as poet delivers a lesson to his audience:

…that he who glimpses [Apollo] is great but he who cannot is inconspicuous, a non-entity (litos). Who then chooses not to look?

The last sentence keeps resonating in my mind. Who chooses? Who chooses?

Three years and more ago, I myself wrote:

Belief is a choice, one that I have made long since. I choose to believe when even my own mind refuses to present any evidence to support what I’m believing. … I choose to believe. Consciously, with my eyes wide open, not with full knowledge perhaps but at least knowing my own limits. Somehow this feels like a very powerful thing.

It occurs to me now that belief is not the only thing I could say that of. What I draw from that line of Kerenyi’s is this: A thwap is not only a choice made by the Gods. They choose to reveal themselves to us; we, in our turn, choose whether to look or to turn away. (Admittedly, sometimes turning away just makes them more persistent in their efforts to be seen. But it is still a choice we can make.)

So, once shown, if there is something special about those who are tapped by the Gods (a concept I’m not very comfortable with, but working out my issues with that is another post), then who in their right mind chooses not to look? Think about words like “great” and “non-entity” for a moment. The great people of this world live their lives under microscopes. The non-entities slip by unnoticed, free to go about their business. With great power comes great responsibility, isn’t that what they say? Ignorance is bliss. What would you rather have? There are two sides to the coin. OK, maybe you’re special, but what does that mean? Often you might not even know in the moment; you might have only the great dark unknown in front of you — or be blinded by the light you see, which is another risk you take by looking. Anything could happen. Anything. Dreams and nightmares are equally possible.

It is a difficult thing we do, when we choose to look and to believe. It is a powerful thing. I still believe this.

What I don’t believe is that any of this is going to make any sense… Translating personal epiphanies like this into English never works well. But it’s what I’ve got for now, so I guess I’ll go ahead and post it.