The Song and the Flame

I’ve done almost nothing religious since the birth of my daughter at the end of July. No surprise there; it’s been a challenge to even fit in personal physical hygeine, much less anything else.

I feel as though I ought to be giving some kind of offering to Artemis following Natalie’s birth, for the relatively uncomplicated and safe childbirth and my apparently fairly quick recovery. And perhaps some sort of “hey, can you keep an eye on her?” thing. I don’t know what, though, and I don’t know where to begin looking for ideas.

Following Tim’s chronic kidney failure diagnosis, I feel like I also should be appealing to Apollo on his behalf. I’m a little shy of it, though, because the last couple of times I asked for help for people, they wound up dead. I think perhaps I just didn’t ask the right thing, though. To completely stop the problems involved would have been on the order of a miracle, and you know, I’m not sure it’s reasonable to expect miracles on request. Perhaps if I asked for something more reasonable, like slowing the deterioration as much as it can be slowed.

Another thing, though, is… Well, I’m supposedly practicing in a fairly traditional Greek way, right? And that means that if I want something, I should be offering something in return. But I don’t know what. The usual incense and/or libation doesn’t seem quite enough. Money’s tight right now, which makes it both a good sacrifice and something that’s going to be hard to do in a practical sense. (I mean, if it were just my money, I’d be all over the “I’ll find a way” thing. But there’s Tim and Natalie too, and I can’t ask them to make sacrifices for my religious promises.) I don’t have the facilities for bigger burnt offerings. Poetry seems like a really good idea, but… I have been so uninspired in the last few years, and on the very rare occasion I’ve written anything it just feels really flat and awful to me. I don’t know if I even can write poetry anymore. Which makes the effort involved that much greater and the offering that much more, but I’m afraid of promising something I may not be able to deliver on. That is not a good idea, to promise something and then not come through with it.