The Song and the Flame

The Monastery

Link swiped from Eihdos.

The basic premise:  Take five men and put them in a Benedictine monastery for forty days.  Film.  No competition, no eliminations, just…  film.  It could be really good, it could be really bad.  I don’t know.

But what gets it a mention here is that the bio of one of the men says, “He wanted to find out whether the monks could convince him that there’s a God. If they could convince him, he said, they can convince anyone.”  My first reaction was, “Fair enough.  I wonder if they do convince him.”  But as I think about it…  I don’t know.

I think if you go into an experience like that with the attitude of, “Prove it to me.  Show me.  Make me believe,” you’re likely to be disappointed.  Because in that situation it’s going to be very, very difficult to convince you of the existence of God.  Because there’s this little detail about a lack of concrete proof.  Every piece of evidence you are given will be subjective.  And every piece of evidence that you see, you will find an alternate explanation for, even if it’s just, “That was just a coincidence.”  I think this guy’s set himself up for failure by coming in with that kind of mindset.

Should we then never ask for proof?  Always believe?  No.  Hell, no.  There is a place for the skeptical mindset.  But, like everything else, it must be used in moderation.  Because if you never open yourself up to the idea that there could be things in this world beyond that which we can physically percieve with our five senses, beyond that which we can prove concretely, then you’re cutting yourself off from a lot of things.  Skepticism is good, but so is wonder.

There’s a discussion about worship going on over at TC (again).  I’m in it up to my eyebrows with the “worship doesn’t mean subservience” thing (again).  I find myself having a difficult time expressing what I am thinking and feeling about the whole issue.  It’s…  a surprisingly emotional one for me.  Perhaps because, to me, worship is a formalized expression of emotion.

It’s more than a formalized expression of emotion.  It’s almost an offering of that emotion, in some ways.  This emotion that I feel at times like this, right now when I’m really thinking about it, the love and the adoration and the sheer breathless glory of it–it is a thing of beauty.  In worship, I express this emotion, I offer this emotion, this beauty, to the deity who inspired it.

Do I always feel this way?  No.  To feel this way all the time would be a horrible burden to bear.  It would burn a person out quickly (though no doubt also spectacularly).  And so worship also becomes a remembrance, a reminder of what has been and a celebration of what will be again.

And so it frustrates me when people talk about worship as something that means a lack of free will, or subservience, or a mindset of unworthiness.  Because to me worship is this thing of beauty, a gift freely given and freely accepted.  And to have it associated with these ugly things hurts, in a way.  It hurts because it sullies what I have found, and it hurts because I wish these people could see the beauty that I see, and I know that it is beyond my ability to show it to them.

But I would not have lasted six years at TC if I could not learn to maintain some sort of emotional distance from the debate in cases like this, and to understand that other people have different points of view which at time clash wildly with my own.  I know when to leave off, I know when to agree to disagree.  Perhaps one of these days, that time will be before it even starts.  For now, though, I can’t help but try.

The tattoo is done. See the main blog for details.

We went to Jungle Jim’s yesterday, and one of the wonderful things I found was packages of itty bitty charcoal tablets. Perfect for times when I want to burn a little incense, but not have it going on and on and on. Like last night.

I was trying to explain to Tim why I was so excited to have found the small charcoal tablets, and he got curious about how it worked. So, since I wanted to offer some incense anyway, I went ahead and lit it with him there. The bit with the tablet sparking across the surface startled him, but after that he was all, “That is really cool!” I have to admit it is. I don’t see myself going back to cones or sticks anytime soon.

The small tablet burned itself through in… maybe five minutes, possibly as long as ten. Works really well. And it’s only thirty cents a roll; next time we go, I’m doing some serious stocking up. (I got two rolls this time, which should last me for a bit, but it’s not like it’s going bad.)