I’ve probably mentioned the family homestead a few times in this space. It’s been in my mother’s family for a long time, and was home to me for the first five years of my life. Now it’s rented out for events, and also serves as a gathering place for that branch of the family on holidays. (Even my father’s family has taken to renting it for their Christmas gathering.) Dad and I were talking about how having family events there was cool with us because we still remembered living there, and (despite extensive renovations in the intervening 23 years) it sort of feels like coming home. He told me that my brother doesn’t remember living there at all — which only makes sense, he wasn’t quite two when we moved out — and that got me thinking about what I remember. I got sidetracked in reminiscence, and thought I might as well share some here. (I’ll self-edit a little, because for having been five years old there’s a surprising amount of scattered bits and pieces of memory hanging out in my head.)

I remember treasure hunts. This is something I absolutely can’t wait for Natalie to be old enough for. They were so fun. Dad would leave clues all over the house for me, and I’d have to figure each one out to get to the next one until at last I got to the prize. I think it was usually some kind of treat; I specifically remember a bowl of ice cream one time, at least.

I remember standing by the sink as Mom was peeling apples. She would give me the peelings as she went, and I ate them and called them “gum”.

Believe it or not, Andrew, I don’t actually remember the infamous rooster incident firsthand either. I just remember you coming home afterward (I think you’d gone to the hospital) with little X-shaped bandages on your forehead, just like in the cartoons.

I remember sitting up with Mom one night watching TV and waiting for Dad to get home. I think she was braiding my hair in pigtails, which I liked because that was how Laura Ingalls had her hair on Little House on the Prairie, though I may be conflating memories here.

I remember sneaking food. Yes, I was really bad about this even then. I especially remember taking string cheese and concealing it in toys, in my waistband, wherever I could hide it until I could get away and eat it. Also, the train cake. The idea is simple: you bake several cakes in plain old loaf pans, and then you use candy (and cookies for wheels, I think) to decorate them so that they look like train cars. I kept stealing the candy off of it. I seem to recall getting into real trouble for that.

I remember that Dad watched the old Dungeons and Dragons cartoon. Specifically, I remembered the Beholder well enough to recognize it solely from that reference point when I saw it referenced years later in the Futurama episode “How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back”. I also remember that the unicorn’s name was Uni — which I remember because I had a stuffed unicorn at the time (she’s still around, actually) that I named Uni for the unicorn on the show.

I remember getting in the car with Dad and admonishing him not to drink and drive. Because he had an open bottle of Coca-Cola with him, see, and he was going to drive while drinking it. Kids say the damndest things.

I remember once Dad had a jar of jalapenos, the kind that also have carrot slices in with them. I knew the peppers were hot, and I didn’t want them. I thought surely the carrots wouldn’t be, though, so I asked for one. Dad let me have one. Heh. Yeah.

I remember lying in bed one night — this was after Andrew was born, because I was in the back bedroom, where I was moved to when that happened — and watching a white, approximately greyhound-shaped blob bound across the room and up to my bed. This is an odd one. I suspect, from the perspective of a rational adult, that I was in that half-awake state where the line between dream and reality blurs. It felt real enough at the time, though, that I remember it as something that happened. I suppose this sounds sort of spooky, but I don’t remember being frightened at all.

Ah, yes. And I remember Dad bringing home one of the old Compaq “suitcase” computers from work. I remember it set on its side, open, on one of those old plywood boxes that we used to use as sort of combination storage and coffee table. There was a spreadsheet open on the screen. Not that I knew what a spreadsheet was at the time, of course.

That’s probably enough for now… I’m probably boring just about everyone but my immediate family (and I’m not sure even about them). Like I said, there’s more in my head from that time of my life than I’d really realized.

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I honestly did not expect this at the beginning of the month. I expected that I’d go strong for a few days and then it would sort of drop off and I wouldn’t wind up anywhere near 50K. Or that the first day I had scheduled “off” from writing, I’d never get back on track after that. Or the four-day hiatus to go to Cleveland, that would do it. So this is an achievement for me not just because I’ve never written this much on one project before, but also because I succeeded where I expected myself to fail. Which — I cannot tell you what a self-confidence boost that is.

Let’s be clear here. I’m not finished. (I’m not sure, actually, whether I technically qualify by NaNo’s rules as a “winner”, because my 50K isn’t a finished draft. But since they’re a little ambiguous and it’s not a competition against anyone but myself, I don’t feel bad about claiming it anyway.) I’ve managed to get most of the way through Act III — Tynan is thoroughly besotted and about to be set up by Clare for the fall — but while that’s a lot, it’s a far cry from “done”. And of course even once this draft is done, there will be lots of editing to do. And then… I don’t know what then.

But I have made a lot of progress, and I’m feeling pretty damned good about it.

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Cleveland was snowy and cold. Bloomington is rainy and cold. I can’t decide whether I prefer the snow because it’s prettier and less likely to smack you in the face with any force, or the rain because it’s easier to drive through.

Natalie travelled better, I think, at 11 months than she did at nearly 16 months. My guess is that this has to do with schedule and mobility. She only had the beginnings of one then; she got baby food more or less on-schedule and she had a bedtime, but naps and bottles were whenever she needed them. Now her meals and nap are on a definite schedule. More structure, more to disrupt. Also, she can’t explore the world or sit on Mommy or Daddy’s lap when she’s strapped down into the car seat, and I think that frustrated her. But she still did all right overall, I guess. She was just a little out of sorts. I’m just glad this was only a trip to Cleveland and not back out to the Outer Banks again.

Orson Scott Card has released yet another Ender book, this time telling the story of Ender’s life between the end of Ender’s Game and the beginning of Speaker for the Dead. Wargh. There are times when I want to reach through my computer monitor and smack an author; this is one of them. I love love love the first two books, but I’ve always sort of felt as though the series should have ended there. Game and Speaker form two halves of a whole: Ender’s violent childhood and his peaceful adulthood atoning for his role as Xenocide. Period. No more is needed. They work together, they complement each other wonderfully, they are complete as a duology. Card, however, seems bent on squeezing the most mileage out of this story he can, extracting every single camera angle from every moment of the series and especially every moment of the original story. Enough is enough already! Sheesh.

I am procrastinating NaNo writing for today even as I write this. I’m pretty certain I’m going to finish. I have an ambitious goal for today: to get to 45,800 words total. That’s 1443 more on top of the 2268 I’ve already written. If I do that and stay on track 2 more days, I’ll be at 50K by Thanksgiving! Overall, even if I manage not to “win”, I think this year has been a rousing success. Planning ahead has made all the difference — though my outline is really more of a guideline than a rule. A new sub-plot has inserted itself without consulting me. Suddenly Love Interest/Ice-Bitch (that would be Clare) has a brother (who she thinks is dead) who is very interested in revealing her true nature to Tynan so he’ll help bring her to justice. That wasn’t in the outline, not even remotely. It will make the whole thing make more sense in the end, though, so it’s all good.

Quantity produces quality. If you only write a few things, you’re doomed.
–Ray Bradbury

Exercise the writing muscle every day, even if it is only a letter, notes, a title list, a character sketch, a journal entry. Writers are like dancers, like athletes. Without that exercise, the muscles seize up.
–Jane Yolen

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I already have a gold star for today, and I haven’t even hit my regularly scheduled evening writing time yet. My characters have miraculously decided to cooperate again.

I am ahead of the “official” wordcount goals not just for today, but even for Saturday (the last day of my planned hiatus, beginning tomorrow, as I’ll mostly be away from the computer). By the end of the day on the 22nd, Wrimos planning on crossing the finish line exactly on time should have 36,674 words; I currently have 39,032.

If I write exactly 2100 words each day from now until the end of the month, excepting the days I’ll be gone, Thanksgiving, and the extra date night I hadn’t even planned on originally, I will be at 51,632 words at the end of the day on the 30th. I only have to stay on track.

I can do it.

(…And I swear I’ll get back to blogging other things. Just as soon as NaNo is over. Really.)

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Last Wednesday, I said:

Wordcount right this instant: 24,513
Words I need to meet today’s 2100-word goal: 24,768
Words ahead of my own goals if I hit 25K today: 1,900
Words ahead of “official” goals if I hit 25K today: 4,996

Today I almost said: Actually, not so much. The first two are correct. My math ran off and left me somewhere after that, though. 2100×12 days=25,200, so 25K that day would only be 200 words ahead, not 1900. Right now I’m only 478 words ahead.

Then I remembered that I keep forgetting to subtract out the one day I’ve had so far where I didn’t expect to write anything, meaning that right now I’m actually not 478 words ahead, I’m 2,578 words ahead of where I expected to be right at this instant. I’m sure you all could care less, but I’m posting this as sort of a self-reminder so I won’t forget again!

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Right. Past the halfway point in the month, and so far I’ve got silver met-my-wordcount-goal stars on all but three days. Of those, two are gold stars, which are even better, so I think I’m doing pretty well.

I learn something from NaNo every year I attempt it. In 2004, I learned that planning matters. In 2007, I learned that Alex’s story is unwritable as-is and that 25K didn’t actually get me very far in her story. This year, I’m learning about what works for me as far as scheduling time to get writing done. Trying to write a little bit every day is working a whole lot better than taking a longer session two out of three weeks was. I am, therefore, thinking of changing my schedule around. I’m thinking of just keeping on doing what I’m doing after November is over, although without the wordcount requirement. That time after Natalie’s asleep and before Tim and I get back together to spend time together before bed seems to work pretty well as writing time.

If I do that, though, what about photography? I’m going to keep it going, but alter the schedule somewhat. My initial thought was once a month. Tim suggested biweekly, more or less–two times a month on the weekends when Mom and Dad keep Natalie over Friday night, going out and photographing on Saturday morning before we go get her. I’ll have to give it some thought.

Finally, the rewards part: I’ve decided that if I hit 50,000 words this month, my reward is going to be a full 5mL bottle of Belle Epoque (a delicious blend of orange and sandalwood which I discovered thanks to Shadow’s rec) from BPAL. I’ve got enough imps for now, but now I’m starting to run out of some of them that I’d like to have more of. This seemed like the perfect time to get one of the ones that’s high on my list.

I’m already at 34K, which sounds like a lot, but it’s really just right exactly on track. And I’ve realized that there’s an extra date night in there I hadn’t planned on, which may hinder me; I’m going to have to hustle to earn that bottle.

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Wordcount right this instant: 24,513
Words I need to meet today’s 2100-word goal: 24,768
Words ahead of my own goals if I hit 25K today: 1,900
Words ahead of “official” goals if I hit 25K today: 4,996

Which has me well on the way to building up that 4-day padding I’ll need to cover the travel days later this month. I am absolutely shocked at my own productivity. I’m thisclose to the halfway point of wordcount for NaNo, and also about that close to wrapping up Act 2. I just have to get my guy out of a sticky spot with an innkeeper who’s just realized he’s wanted by the city watch, and then have him meet up with Clare, and we’ll be all set up for Act 3. I thought I’d consider myself doing well if I reached the halfway point in the wordcount and/or the midpoint in the plot by the end of the month. Now the former is within my grasp tonight, just 13 days in, and though the latter isn’t as certain it’s definitely looking very likely.

I think things are still going pretty well. There are several places where I need to check facts. There are several more where I’ve glossed over something that could maybe be expanded upon. There are some where I backed myself into a corner and made up a ridiculous explanation just to get something down on paper. I don’t think I’ve done anything that will be too difficult to slap into shape in editing, though.

On the downside, I am definitely past the first blush where it’s all coming easily. It’s work, now, and I have to really push myself to meet my goals most days. It’s not that I don’t want to be doing it, it’s just that there’s this temptation to do that “oh, I’m tired, I’ll do it tomorrow” thing. Except I know I have to do what I can to build up that momentum and keep going, or it’ll never get done at all. Which is how I wound up half an hour from bedtime last night and still writing. But I got it done for the day!

I’m finding that Google Docs may not be the best choice of programs ever. It’s a little buggy here and there, in different ways with different browsers, and today at least I’ve had some latency issues when trying to type. Also, I get different wordcount out of it when using it at work in IE than when using it at home in Firefox, oddly enough. I’m continuing to use it because so far the fact that I don’t have to remember to upload/download anything outweighs the bugs, but it’s on notice.

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I almost put off photography Saturday because I’d totally forgotten to decide where to go ahead of time as per my conditions when I set this up, but Tim encouraged me to go anyway. I wound up on the Indiana University campus, in the area of the Wells Library, the Cox Arboretum, the Auditorium, the Art Museum, etc., wandering around for about an hour and a half snapping shots. It was colder than I’d anticipated, and walking around didn’t warm me up as much as I’d thought it would. Lesson: bring gloves, even if you don’t think you’ll need them. I am incredibly glad we have a digital camera and I’m not trying to do this with film. I wound up with 141 shots all told before I started culling the ones that were just messed up beyond redemption or picking out the ones that were good enough to go public. That’s what, 4-6 rolls of film depending on the size of the roll. Buying all those, plus processing, and doing this every three weeks or so…

I think I’ll tentatively count this week a success. I’m not sure if I improved any over last time, as far as quality and artistic merit go, but I think I’m starting to settle into the whole thing more, if that makes sense. I keep reminding myself that I miss 100% of the shots I don’t take (I know, I know, I’m sorry, that’s totally out of context — but it works, and I like it better in this one). And thus I take more pictures and take more chances, which in turn gives me a better chance at good results. Sometimes it doesn’t pay off, and the picture just looks dull and boring anyway. Well, OK, it’s just digital.

The gallery:
08 November 2008: Campus (Wells Library, Cox Arboretum, Etc.)

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Yesterday, I wrote 2,943 words, almost 850 more than my goal for the day. I gave myself a gold star. If I write anything significant at all today, I get another, because since tonight’s date night I had not planned on writing at all. (And I won’t, tonight. If I do any at all today it’ll be in downtime at work.)

There’s another new mark on my calendar, too. It’s a yellow highlight around the square for yesterday. It means I’ve finished Act I. Tynan and Loba are out of prison now, just barely. Now I have to get them all presentable, so that they don’t stand out as escapees, and off to the inn where they’re supposed to meet their contact.

I’m finding that the actual writing is going remarkably smoothly. It may not be of the highest quality, but this is only a first draft. It’s not going to be perfect, and that’s what the editing process is for. Actually making up the story, filling in the details, getting everything on paper, though — it’s coming to me fairly easily, which is a new thing these days. Okay, ever. I mean, look at me. I’m within a hair of 14,000 words of story in six days, and I’m only just getting started. There was a time when I didn’t think I could ever write anything as long as even 10,000 words. Ever.

I think it’s really helped to start from scratch with something that I have no ties to at all. That’s part of why the Alex project is unwritable at this point; I’m just too close to it. There are too many scenes, too many characters, too many conceptions about how the whole thing should go, that I’m attached to and get hung up on every time I try to write it. I’ve known this for a while now, but I had no idea just how much difference it would make to be working on something that didn’t have that baggage and was free to go where it would.

I find myself, at this point, pondering what to do when this is over. I am incredibly optimistic about finishing this novel. I may not do it in November (though I think I may just hit the NaNo 50K mark), but I think it will be done. I had never thought about what to do after that. The point was just to write a novel. Do I treat this as just a practice step and start the process over with something new? Do I go into editing mode with it? Beta reading and critique — before the initial edit, or after I’ve had a chance to clean it up a little? Do I… actually pursue publication, if beta response is good enough?

I’m trying not to count my chickens before they’re hatched. I may lose my momentum utterly mid-month and never finish this at all. These decisions may never need to be made. At the same time, I’m trying to sort of think ahead a little and be prepared. If I do get there, if I do finally get to the end, I don’t want to wind up dropping it by default just because I didn’t know what I wanted to do with it and lost my motivation before deciding.

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Looking at my NaNo Writing Buddies page, I almost feel like an overachiever. Give it a little time, though; in a couple of weeks I’ll be in “unlikely to be able to write” land for four days, and then the amount by which I’m ahead of schedule will diminish drastically. I’m only just barely exceeding my goal each day, and the goal of 2100 words/day was set up to just get me to just over 50K by the end of the month. (Of course, those little bits add up, too. Specifically, as of yesterday they add up to my being 537 words ahead of my own schedule, which is good.)

I should have some words about the election beyond “I voted, did you?” I’m not sure what to say that others haven’t already. I’m happy with the way it turned out. I remember in 2004 hearing the announcement that Kerry had conceded and we were stuck with Bush again, and the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. This time I got the news at 1am after having been asleep for ~3 hours already, so my only real feeling was that I’d like to go back to sleep now… But when I think about the upcoming four years, the feeling I get is one of hope, looking forward to seeing what happens rather than dreading it. I am satisfied. I know there are a lot of people who aren’t, and I’m sorry for them that they are now stuck with the same feeling many of us had in 2004, but I really do think this is the better way for our country to go. I hope that, as time goes on and Obama settles into the job, their fears will be relieved and, even if they never come to like him, they will at least see that he’s not going to completely trash the country. Or the world.

The air in my building at work is still out. The room I’m in has no windows and only one door. This is where being at the back of the room sucks, because honestly, the airflow back here? Sorta sucks. I never knew how much heat an LCD monitor could put out until now. I’m half falling asleep at some point most days now, and while there are other factors also possibly to blame… Honestly, I think the combination of heat and the white noise from the fan I brought in to circulate air in my cube really does have a lot to do with it.

I decided to try homemade sauerkraut after finding a recipe that would let me do it in quart-sized Mason jars instead of a crock. Actually, it turns out Mom and Dad do have a crock I might have convinced them to let me use, but this just seems so much simpler. Especially since I don’t have enough cabbage to fill up that crock anyway. It’s almost at its halfway point in fermentation, when I’ll need to add to the liquid in the jars. I guess I’ll let you know at the end of the month how it comes out. If it’s halfway decent I’ll post the recipe; it’s pretty easy, it just takes a lot of time letting the jars sit in a cool, dark place to ferment.

Dad informs me that there is now a TV series, “Legend of the Seeker”, which I thought he was going to tell me was based on The Dark is Rising (or perhaps the movie that butchered it), but actually turns out to be based on Terry Goodkind’s Sword of Truth series. And it’s airing on the CW. On network TV. In primetime. Blinkstare. You managed to get this past the network censors? They’re not familiar with these books, are they? Also, in case you’re wondering if anyone you know is in it: you probably remember Craig Parker from his much-inflated role as Haldir in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Here? Darken Rahl. Heh.

Despite my skepticism about the series (which is probably not helped by my not being a real fan of the books in the first place), actually I think if one is going to adapt a novel this is the way to do it. A TV series gives you the length you need to actually handle the amount of stuff that gets crammed into a novel. Look at True Blood: As far as I can tell from the recaps so far, it’s managed to not only hit all the stuff Dead Until Dark covers, but also explore what might else might be happening to other characters that the novel missed out on due to the constraints of a first-person narrative. I find myself, perhaps prompted by the mention of Parker’s name, wondering what Lord of the Rings would have looked like as a three-season high-budget television series.

I usually end these things with a quote, generally a snippet of song. I specifically wanted to use one that expressed hope this time, and… my mind’s a blank. I can’t think of one that is just what I want. I guess I’ll have to post it separately if I think of it later.

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